The Pugside Strangler!!!

A Pee Wee and Vance


starring Mojiler and Matt

Mojey plays Shopey in the flashback sequences



1 review [*hAAAAAAh hAAAh!!! thaaaaaaAAaaat’s mOIzOmEz, hOmEyZ !!! whyn’t’ya’take’a’picthure’it’ll’last’longer!!!??? bahahahAAAAh!!! c’mon, VANCE, let’s RACE!!! (Oinking and squealing excitement can be heard off space screen space/stage left, as we, or at least moIzoMEz n’ an OFFSPACE V do the ole “extuente, stage LEFT, prrrronto y muy rapidamente!!!]
… time lapse dissolve into me windmilling my arms frantically as we hear Shopo, I mean MOJO, who is starring as VANCE gleefully shout: “AAAH WEEN! AAAH WEEEEEEN!!!!”
And rather unsportsmanly rubbing it in so I say “yeah, well, YOU also CHEATED! You used MORE LEGS than me, n better watch it lil mister macho Mojey Michaelangelo Kibblez n von Schwerin Bits! You!, or we’ll hv 2 show yah what happens to spoil sports, u DO know what happens to ungentlemanly spoiled spart brats dontcha, MOJLA? Hmmmmmmmmmmnnnn????

nnnnooooooo, wha wh wh WHAAAt !!! Well, they get their front or back paws they love t’ constantly use t’ be CHEATIN somehow stealthily sneakily spOOOOk KILLY …shhHHHH!!!

WHAAAT!!??

Whispering SHHH!!!

Whispers whaaaat!??

Whispers back after lookin off space screen left/n right…

Do ya rEEEEAAAALLLy wanna know?

Uhh,.

-best not then..

NOOO!

SHHHH!!!

Whispering again
noooh! Please TE—please tell me! Why, what ever could possibly happen to their poor little cheatin paws maffhew!!!???

Well…. If yer sure your suuuure ya need t’a kno, I’ll tell ya I guess,, but… ya have ta promise to be strong and brave an a man,

I WEEEL!!

Well so SHH! Somehow someone sneeeeeaaaaks in there at night after mister pugzly the all time olympic track and field winningest and SOME whispered dismayingly CHEATINGEST pug t’ ever
Huff n puff in tha home streeeeaaatch for that ole OLYMPIPUGGA DUGGA GOLD MEDALS in EVERY EVENT, all with the help of them front or rear CHEATIN’est pAAAws in olypawc Pug HISTORY!

NAH!!!

Yah huh!!!

OH!

But so what ha—

SH!!!

Sorr-

I’m trying to tell you but you keep interruptin’, some may even sAy, cheatin’, VERbally, motley!

nO!

YES!

Oh!

Ok so SH! Do ya wanna kno or not?

I think..

Well, like I said, late late LAAAAATE that night after he swept the entire olympic paw track n peeing field of gold medals in all events,
Laaaaate at night he kept run-in in his dreams and those paws could be seen even then, them front or bk onez TOO just RUNNIN away, an CHEATIn away TOO,

Oh NO!

Oh YES!

Well…

WELL, but they weren’t ANY help THIS TIME THO, were they?

yeth?
NO~

But … why nOt?

Because no matter how fast they helped him cheat and run in his dream, the

pugpawSawhillSide rearview mirror serial ornamentalist that struck TERROR and PURE HORROR during the late seventies and early to mid eighties in Puguna Beach Pawlifornia had worn ballet slippers to SLIP into our
Tragic champions doghouse, and boy was he REALLY in it NOW too!

What?

In the DOG house…

Whaddya mean maffhew of course he waz, vey bofhit were, so was the—AH! Ah cant even SAY his, it’s NAME!

Whose?

You kno

The runner up in the last race. Ya mean?

NO! You KNOw

That little old lady whose garden he dug up with his cheatin paws before becoming an all time winningest and cheat ingest pugympic champ?

NO!

Then wh—-

THA PUGPAWSAWHILLSLIDESTAMPLER ORNAMENTALIST RABBIT FOOT SERIAL SWITCHER OF PU PU PUG PAWS YOU KNOW!!

Oh, HIM… yah well… you just ASSUMED it was HIM who was sneakin into the champs doghouse, huh?

Well YAH! I mean, tch! WHO ELSE!!!

well..

THERE IS NO ONE ELSE!!!

Actually tho…

What?

He awoke to find that where his paws used to be there were just these cute little bandaged stumps, and…

AAAAND!!!??? OMG WHAT ELSE THIS IS TERRIFYING IT CANT GET ANY WORSE!!

And written in bright garish lipstick of his furry little hearts desire, his angel and apple headed eyes sweetheart of an angel had written in a secret color only he and one other pug gal ever had known of, and it said,


Those paws were made for cheatin, and that’s just what they’ve done, they’re resting forever eternally with the puggatramp that he couldn’t keep them cheatin paws off of in LIFE as well as death is what it said he saw to his horror that the horrible message of terror continued in terrifyingly stretoriously scrawled script on his and his loves little love seat and mirror above it ordering him to GO OUTSIDE N BE A GOOD BOY N SEE WHAT YOUR sleep peeing has done for ya my sweet X pugs band!

Well!!

And so of course, that’s right when the sound of the howling siren and howls of the pug cop growler prowl car black and white pulled up with the copugz barking at him in a loudspeaker to come out with his hands on his heads, they had his confession, signed sealed delivered all by his own cheatin paws as they had somnambulantly slept walked him out to the big banyan tree outhouse where he was a goodbye at night every night, and there he had marked the tree and out from a shallow grave protruded the wig of the so called pugtramp he’d cheated with, with his own cheatin paws in the purse hanging from the little pugguhrlzhandbag that he had bought his pugtress only the night before in Paris at the French olympics they had also helped him to CHEAT AND WIN!!!

Nooo!!! But what about HIM!!???


Him? Him WHO!?


HIM Maphew!!!

Champ? Well obviously he went to the BIGHOUSE, and I do mean JAIL, not the DOGHOUSE of he n’ his new wife’s young marriage!

NO!!!

HEEEIIIIIMMM!!!

Wh-?

THA the pug side ornamentalist hangler!!! What happened to HEEIIIM!!!

Oh, HEEIM! well…

What??

I told you didn’t I?

No, wai—WHAT wh—

Yes I did, SHHH! Lest someone hear

Shhh! Oka-

Whispers “yes I did moiler, I toldya, that while he was sleeping, and his little paws were visible under the covers run-in and a run-in,

She snuck stealthily in and sloooowwwwwly drew BAAAACK the covers to make sure she could see not just his cheatin claws, but the little notch of his tale that she decided to take to remember his cheatin puggbut by…

I toldya what she did, n no one ever said he wasn’t a she!

Cue loud high pitched Mojley pugkeening’n’outraged’howls’of’fright’YOWLIN’in pure shock horror and utter TERROR at such an outrageously ghastly tale where the pug somehow wasn’t the champion, or rather WAS but in the WORST WAY, the CHAMPION and his PUGHEART FROM THE PUGPAWWEDCRYPT