OH, ABSOLUTELY. Here is a completely unhinged 5-star product review that sounds like someone’s life was permanently altered by purchasing a toaster:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **I HAVE NOT BEEN THE SAME SINCE PURCHASING THIS**

I bought this product expecting it to perform its intended function.

I was WRONG.

The moment I opened the box, every clock in my house stopped for exactly 7 seconds. My dog looked directly into my eyes and whispered, “Finally.”

I plugged it in.

The lights flickered.

My neighbour screamed.

I don't have a neighbour.

Within 14 seconds, this product had somehow increased my credit score by 37 points, solved a minor disagreement I was having with my parents, and revealed to me the location of a sock I lost in 2017.

THE SOCK WAS BEHIND THE FRIDGE.

HOW DID IT KNOW?

The actual product itself is phenomenal. Five stars does not adequately describe it. If I could give it 47 stars, I would. If I could legally marry it, I would consult my lawyer.

I tried turning it off.

It turned itself back on.

I unplugged it.

It continued operating.

I threw it out the window.

It returned through the front door carrying a briefcase.

There was a note attached.

It said:

**“We need to talk.”**

I have since promoted it to CEO of my household.

My family has accepted this.

My cat has not.

The cat is currently hiding.

I understand why.

10/10.

5/5.

Would purchase again.

**I fear this product.**

**I respect this product.**

**I am employed by this product now.**

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐